Madonna turns 70 in August!

how to look like Madge...aka, 20 years older:

* study the Kaballah
* wear no makeup, and ONLY sweats in public
* have blatant affairs and prefer a sordid sex life
* work out incessantly so you looka-like-a-man
* get your body fat down to a 'healthy' 5%
* become 'the' target of a US Media scandal
* maybe stay away from food altogether
* get obnoxious amounts of 'discreet' plastic surgery

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